Spontaneous Combustion Samson
by Rabbitearsblog
Summary: This story is about Samson, the Puffer, who swallows a virus that makes him ill. This story is based off the Rabbit Ears' and Robin Williams' version of "The Fool and the Flying Ship" and has a similiar plot to the "Beast Wars" episode, "The Low Road."
1. Chapter 1: Dmitri's Plot

Copyright Information

The original story "The Fool of the World and the Flying Ship" is copyrighted by Arthur Ransome and the Rabbit Ears' version narrated by Robin Williams along with the characters in this version are all copyrighted by Rabbit Ears Productions, Inc. now called Rabbit Ears Entertainment, LLC. The characters Rolf Saddlebag, Ole Ginger, Jared, Dmitri, Boris, Sergei, and Maria "Mimi" Lopez and the names of the original characters are all copyrighted by me, Rabbit Ears Blog. If you want to use one of my characters, then you must ask for my permission first by contacting me at my email address, or just send me a private message and I will decide if you can use them. If you have any questions or comments about this fan fiction, then contact me through my email or through a private message on the website.

Spontaneous Combustion Samson : Chapter 1: Dmitri's Plot

It was a sunny day at Tsar Vlad's palace and everyone there were doing their daily chores for the mighty Tsar. Lord Peg leg was running errands for the Tsar by delivering messages to the neighboring country as fast as he could, Big Ears was hearing everything that was going on in the world and reporting them to the Tsar and Samson was carrying a huge cargo of stone so that he could build the Tsar's new bathhouse. As Samson was carrying the cargo, he hears a strange rustling sound from the Tsar's extravagant garden and he starts trudging towards the sound. Silently, Samson peeked through the weeds and spotted two bizarre looking figures digging for something in the ground. Samson then realizes that those two bizarre looking figures are Boris and Sergei. Samson thinks to himself, "Uh-oh, string boy and two-face are snooping around the palace. That means something is up." And something was up as Boris tells Sergei, "Hurry Sergei, we got to dig this *spontaneous combustion virus* into the ground so that it will blow up part of the Tsar's palace. If we don't do it, then Dmitri is going to be hopping mad." "Oh, Dmitri is going to be mad, huh?" Samson said unexpectedly. "Yes," said Boris, who does not notice Samson standing over them, "Dmitri is really going to be mad at us if we don't…" Boris stopped talking and he and Sergei looked up to see Samson saying, "Hello boys…" "RUN!!!" yelled Boris and Sergei and they tried to run, but Boris ends up tripping in a couple of vines and accidentally flung the virus, which is in a bottle, into the air. Samson calls out to the two, "Come back here you two HOOLINGANS!!!!" But just as he said that, the virus that was flung in the air, fell into Samson's mouth and Samson accidentally starts swallowing the virus!!!! Boris and Sergei then start panicking at seeing what was happening to the virus, but they ended up running away from Samson to tell Dmitri what had happened. When Samson finally drains the liquids of the virus, he suddenly feels very dizzy and faints on the ground.


	2. Chapter 2: Samson and the Virus

Chapter 2: Samson and the Virus

"Samson…Samson…Samson, are you alright buddy?" "He's definitely unconscious isn't he?" "Don't worry, he will wake up soon, Samson's definitely a fighter." Samson starts hearing voices and he finally wakes up. "Whew, it's a good thing you're awake, big guy!" said Ivan. "Yeah, we thought that you would have been asleep forever!" remarked Lord Pegleg. Samson starts getting up and asks them, "What happened? All I remember was that Boris and Sergei were at the palace and they had some kind of liquid in a bottle that they were going to use to blow up half of the palace with and then after that… OH NO!!! I swallowed the virus!!! I swallowed the virus!!! I swallowed virus!!!!" Samson yells out frantically. "Calm down, Samson," soothed William, "the virus hasn't yet got through your system yet, while you were unconscious, I check your stomach to see if everything was alright." "Oh, that's a relief, I thought I would have been a…" Samson suddenly hiccups and a red flame came out of his mouth and burns up the Tsar's precious Venus fly eating plant. "OH NO!!! The devourer has been burned!!!" yelled Uncle Skinny. Samson hiccups again and this time, he burns a hole through the roof. Everyone then ducks when Samson hiccups a third time and burns the door leading to his quarters. When everyone got up again, William examines Samson once again and proclaims, "My goodness!!! The *spontaneous combustion virus* has spread over Samson's body and its making him spit out flames in reaction to the virus!" "What's going to happen to him?" Rolf asks concerned. William sighs then says, "Well, if we don't find the cure for this virus, then Samson could blow sky high!!" Suddenly, Samson lets out a huge belch and a huge streak of red flames flew out of his mouth and everybody ducks quickly. "If we can survive long enough to find the cure!!!" exclaimed William.


	3. Chapter 3: The Search for the Cure

Chapter 3: The Search for the Cure

"You fools!!!" yelled Dmitri to Boris and Sergei, "it took me 3 years to plan for the destruction of the Tsar's palace and what happens?!!! Huh, huh, huh!?! You both drop the virus and now it is inside the body of that great big lug of a hulk!!! Now how am I supposed to rule this kingdom. I always wanted to sit in the Tsar's great big fluffy throne with the red pillows on the seating chair. I also love the way that the pillows squeak when you sit down on them." "Father, why don't you just find Samson and take the virus out of him. It will be easy as pie." said Jared. "Hmm… I guess it's not a total loss after all. I can still use the virus, even if the great big lug had ingested it already," thought Dmitri. Then he tells Boris and Sergei, "Alright you two! Go search for the big hulk and bring him back to me so that we can get that virus. Once the plan is fully operational, the Tsar will have no choice but to hand over the palace to me if he does not want his precious palace to be destroyed. WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH….*coughs*"

Just at that moment, Rolf Saddlebag and Ole Ginger were climbing up a cliff that leads towards Dmitri's not so secret headquarters. "I hope we find the virus soon. I don't want Samson to blow sky high!" said Rolf. "Don't worry, we'll find the cure," assured Ole Ginger, "besides Samson's a tough one to beat, he won't go down that easily…"

Meanwhile, back at the Tsar's palace, Samson is still lying in bed, groaning as his stomach is hurting him so much when he hears a tap at the window. "Hola Samson! How are you doing this morning?" It was Mimi Lopez, the Hispanic woman who occasionally visits the ship crew at the Tsar's palace. Samson gets out of bed and opens the window and tells Mimi, "Mimi, what are you doing here?" "Just uh, came by to say hola to you. ¡Jo! (whoa!) You look don't look so good." "Ugh, I don't feel so good. It feels like my stomach's been through a blender and it won't stop." "Hmm… ¡Eso es! (That's it!) Samson you don't have to worry about a thing because I just happened to have some tasty bean burritos for you!" "Umm… you didn't cook them, did you?" asked Samson worriedly. "No, Señor smarty pants, I bought them from a market at my hometown. Just try some and you will feel fantastico! (Fantastic!) "Alright, if you say so," said Samson. Samson takes one of the bean burritos and bites into it. "Hey, this is pretty good!" exclaimed Samson. Then Samson took another burrito and ate it, and then another burrito and ate it and ate more and more and more…

Meanwhile, Rolf and Ole Ginger finally make it into Dmitri's hideout and they start going inside when suddenly, Boris and Sergei come out from outside of the hideout and tell them, "Alright you two, this is your last stop. Dmitri will not tolerate any stowaways in his hideout." "But, we just came here to cure our friend Samson," said Ole Ginger. "Well, then we just have to show you how we treat stowaways here!!" Boris then stretches out his arms towards Rolf and Ole Ginger, but Rolf quickly throws his hay towards Boris and freezes him. Then, Sergei jumps towards the two brothers and tries to push them off the edge of the cliff, but the two brothers found a boulder sitting on top of the stairs leading towards the hideaway and the two brothers quickly jump over Sergei and push the boulder towards Sergei, hitting him HARD. Rolf then commented, "Well, it looks like Sergei has a flattening experience." Ole Ginger laughs and the two brothers head on into the hideaway.

Inside the hideaway, Jared is busily making an antidote for the *spontaneous combustion virus* in Dmitri's secret lab and he thinks to himself, "I know father would never let anything happen to Samson, he just wants to threaten the Tsar a little bit, besides he was going to make an antidote sooner or later anyway." Suddenly, Dmitri comes into his lab and sees Jared making the antidote and says, "Is the antidote ready yet son?" "Yes father, the antidote is ready," Jared replies. Dmitri takes the antidote from Jared and talks to the audience, "Yes, I could use this antidote to my advantage. By now, the rest of the ship crew are probably coming to my secret hideaway at this moment in order to get the antidote and once I have them where I want them, they'll do anything to save their precious friend from elimination." "Father," Jared commented, "Why are you always talking to people who are not really there?" "Oh, it's just something I like to call *addressing my brilliant plans to my adoring fans.*" said Dmitri. "Oh brother," muttered Jared. Suddenly, Dmitri and Jared hear a loud hiccup from the other side of the lab door and the door blasts open with Jared and Dmitri screaming, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


	4. Chapter 4: The Confrontation

Chapter 4: The Confrontation

Out from the blown up lab door, stepped the ship crew along with Samson. "Alright, Dmitri," Ivan yelled, "Give us the antidote so we can help our friend, Samson." Dmitri briefly gritted his teeth as he realizes that his plan had slightly backfired, when suddenly Rolf walks calmly underneath Dmitri and tells the others, "Hey guys, we made it just in time! We just defeated Boris and Sergei while we were at the entrance of the hideaway." "I don't think so…" said Boris and Sergei together, while they were holding onto Ole Ginger's leg in exhaustion. "How did you two get here?" asked Ole Ginger. "Oh we have our special ways of getting in." "Yeah, we just grab onto this guy's leg and…" "Quiet Sergei!" "Alright Boris." said Sergei. "Ok, if you can just give us the antidote…" started Ivan. "Not so fast, Pinocchio," jeered Dmitri, "I will give you the antidote only if you tell Tsar Vlad that if he wants to save that hulk of a giant you call your friend, then he will have to give his palace up to me. Otherwise, your big friend there will certainly blow sky high!!" "No! Don't do it you guys," cried Samson, "We can't just give up the palace to Dmitri!" "Sorry, Samson," said Big Ears, "but we don't want you to blow up. So, we don't really have a choice here." "But, the palace, the people of Russia, and…" Suddenly, Samson's stomach started to rumble violently and Samson sank to the floor, groaning loudly. "Whoa, Samson," exclaimed Rolf, "you don't look so good." Samson responds to this by briefing hanging his tongue out in distressed. "What's wrong?" asked Ivan concerned. "Those bean burritos are giving me a bad case of indigestion." Samson said still groaning. As Samson starts to rise slowly from the ground, Dmitri jeered at Samson, "What's the matter? Are you losing your bravado?" Suddenly, Samson starts groaning very loudly and starts turning around, his bottom facing Dmitri. When Dmitri sees what is about to happen, he shouts out, "No… anything but that!!! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Suddenly, a green cloud of gas is shot into the solar system, dissipating into the air. Once it is over, the ship crew could only see the broken down lab and a great big hole in the roof where Dmitri and his crew flew through. "Ewww," exclaimed Ivan reacting to the stench building up, "that really did it. Well, at least we have the antidote! Let's go back to the palace quickly. Things are really starting to stink up here!" And everyone ran out of the destroyed lab.


	5. Chapter 5: A Happy Ending!

Chapter 5: A Happy Ending!!

After the ship crew finally makes it back to the palace, William prepared the antidote and gave it to Samson who drank it with great relish. "Well, at least that is all over," said William. "Yeah, my stomach finally feels as good as new," commented Samson, still sipping on the antidote, "nothing like a little purge to clear out the tubes." Mimi then comes in the palace and she says, "Hola everyone! So, how are things going?" "Samson is feeling better now," Rolf says, "let's just say that Dmitri won't be coming down for a while. Hee, Hee…" "That's great to hear!!! See Samson, I told you those bean burritos would do you justice didn't I?" said Mimi sarcastically. "Yeah, Yeah, I…" Samson suddenly hiccups and Ivan yells out, "Hit the floor!!!" and everyone dropped to the floor for fear that another red flame will come out of Samson's mouth. But, Samson just says meekly, "Oh, sorry." Everyone looked at each other and burst out laughing.

Meanwhile, far out into the wastelands of Russia, Dmitri, Jared, Boris and Sergei were laying down in a tree as Dmitri fumes, "Oahu, this is the most embarrassing situation of my entire evil career." And he falls off the tree branch and says, "Ouch…"


End file.
